Building Foundations, Calling This Home.

So, the story continues. I have inhabited the L’Arche home for a few weeks now, along with Damon, Janet, Marie, and Maria. Damon is another founding assistant. Janet is the community leader. Marie is a summer intern/student from France, here to help with administrative tasks. Maria is the house grandmother for a couple months, having helped start and lead a number of L’Arche communities. All of us and often Heather, a live out assistant for now, share several dinners and prayer times a week.

We have been preparing to welcome Kim and Wayne into this L’Arche community and dates are becoming solidified. I am so happy to say that I have been able to meet on several occasions with our founding core members and am feeling more comfortable around them. It’s nice for me to get to know who it is I am going to be living with! I imagine it’s nice for most people.

Part of the preparation has also included trainings, connecting with nearby churches, cleaning, moving things around, and a diversity of household to-dos. So much of the work needed to be done is in fact done by friends in the greater St. Louis L’Arche community. I feel called now to make it clear that the St. Louis L’Arche community extends far beyond the 5 people currently living in the house, and even beyond the incoming core members. It’s kind of like we’re a big pomegranate, and the household members are seeds near the middle of the fruit. We all make different contributions, we all satisfy different roles. We are all tasty. And the web of white skin inside is the collection of bonds between all of us “separate” entities. Yessss.

At the house, we try to stay conscious (thanks to Maria) of the reality that we are building a foundation every day. The genetic makeup of the seeds we sow here will show up as phenotypes as the future becomes the present. I feel responsible with the others for bringing loving traditions into this home. It’s a relief to remind myself that we will never become a perfect community. And conflict is an opportunity for growth if we have openness.

In other news, Maplewood is growing and thriving and being developed. Our location near the downtown makes it easier for us to integrate into the town here. I am very excited about the prospects of this! Personally, I’m loving the library, 2 cool coffee shops, one of which has an open mic night, restaurants, bars, and connecting with the churches.

For several days, an exploratory retreat occurred in St. Louis for newer L’Arche assistants around the country. This was a time of making relationships, reflecting, creating, reading, getting inspired by the lives of the saints, and allowing myself to be vulnerable. I thank everyone who was involved in making it as excellent a time as it was for me.

In just a few days, we embark for the L’Arche Central Region Gathering in Memphis which will include almost everyone (core members, assistants, admin, friends) from the Chicago, KC, Jacksonville, Mobile, Clinton IA, and STL and ATL communities. It seems to me like it will be a big vacation/party. A gathering with all our communities together has not happened for years.

Of course, this is a limited update, and I’ll be reflecting soon on how I want to continue with this blog in terms of what I will include in it (personal events and musings? Only STL L’Arche updates? Share more or less?). If you have any feedback or advice on the issue, I’m open to it. I often feel guilty for not including the names of all the people who have contributed to my welfare in recent times. So “Thanks.” Know I am nothing without the gifts/love of you/others. Whether you gave me a hug yesterday or did anything with love at all to anyone or anything, I want to say thanks.

Departing from the Harbor, Sailing with the Claver, Approaching the Home

Hello there, and welcome back.

So I have spent many hours compiling bullets for a mondo huge entry. And I’m afraid it’s no longer going to be posted. I’m going to condense like crazy to ensure that I include some of the journey in the last few months.

I finished my time in Jacksonville with some constructive one-on-ones and further heartfelt goodbyes. Journeying to each house with some of the Nouwen house crew to close out my time was a night I ponder followed by a rich feeling of significance.

To name a few elements of the end of the JAX L’Arche journey: Regularly attending St. Matthew’s Lutheran Church with a couple friends from Nouwen, the final dance where I was treated to “I Swear” by loving friends, overcoming grudges (my own and others’), going through a meaningful evaluation meeting, planning morning prayers that focus on the abilities of the core members like touch and the other senses, the deaths of loved ones in the L’Arche community, song mashup duets with Mollie, being treated to another scavenger hunt and moving letters. At the Anniversary celebration, I was affected by the loving words and hugs shared. It’s hard for me to feel worthy of the love I received. It’s funny, because I worry about mentioning names on here for fear of excluding unmentioned people that have impacted me. There are so many names that I would have to devote hours to recognize them all. I am overjoyed at the realization that that is such a blessing of a concern. No number of thanks is enough to all those who surround me and continue surrounding me, securing me in what I can comfortably call the love of God.

For the last 2 months, I have been living in an intentional community called Claver House in North St. Louis. The people here are students, volunteers, nonprofit workers who eat meals together, check in with each other, play together, and host alternative Spring Break college groups (at least while I was there). They really welcomed me despite my extended stay and I find that a certain closure is needed as I end my blast of a time here and start waking up to L’Arche house mornings. Because tonight is the last night I’ll be sleeping here at Claver House. And I’m going to miss living here after sharing a room with my great friend Jim. It’s going to mean lonelier nights and I hope to get through that.

What do I say about L’Arche St. Louis that I can fit in an entry that doesn’t lead to the bottom of this page? We had a bomb group of Holy Cross kids help paint during spring break, Janet’s been working non stop to keep everything rolling. Heather came back and she’s contributing her skills to our efforts. Damon is an all star as he continues helping with the house and moving into his room. In Nick I gained something of an apprenticeship in painting. In John, I gained some knowledge on phone and internet connection for the house. We had a L’Arche Day of Reflection where I really discovered the love waiting for me in the hearts of the various board members, volunteers lending their hands and expertise, and everyone else that the grasp of this L’Arche community has reached. I’ve really come to see that L’Arche is not so much a house with core members and assistants, but a way of living out community in a way that supports, loves, and forgives one another. I am but a small piece of this St. Louis L’Arche puzzle. We all seem to need the gifts and balance brought by others. Can you imagine if I were responsible for the contract work on the house, for managing the email list, or for all the interactions with people involved in granting us licenses, permissions, and what have you? I don’t even like to use the phone. There are so many volunteers helping out in so many ways so that this L’Arche house can become a reality in less than 30 years. It’s been about 7 years since meetings about L’Arche in this city got started, and I’m glad we’ve had this time to prepare and grow a community before the home has even opened to core members.

I want to speak on more, but I’m already wishing this entry was smaller. So from now on, I’ll make it a goal to post up more frequently and with less content. We’ll see how it goes. Thanks to everyone for reading this. I do it in an attempt to explain a little of what’s going on in L’Arche and how I relate to it. I don’t include too many details, but I hope it’s enough for you to understand me better.

Amen.