Hello there readers,
One week ago, I departed Cincinnati of Ohio and traversed over the Southern floor, landing in a city named for Old Hickory: Jacksonville Florida. A young woman with the intriguing name of Rhona welcomed me and invited me into a car carrying me to the, until then, elusive L’Arche* Harbor House community. I put my right shoe from the passenger seat floor onto the gravel of a lot, and then put the left on it too. I look around with wide eyes at palm trees, green grass, and some serene homes. I have arrived on campus..
At the outset of 2011, the St. Louis L’Arche community plans to officially cut the ribbon in front of a house in the town of Maplewood. A former convent with lots of space and possibilities, this house will house a community leader, Janet, two core members (with intellectual disabilities), and two founding assistants, Heather and Justin. The second name refers to the author of this entry.
I learned of L’Arche primarily through a friend and mentor by the name of Sam Wilson. The depth of his gratitude for his experience in L’Arche Mobile was manifest. He shared stories of humor, challenge, humility, and brokenness. I was intrigued, but never thought it was my scene. Working with what I considered the developmentally disabled population was not an interest of mine. I continued meeting with Sam and found myself curious about the progress of a future St. Louis L’Arche community. I sent an email in the late winter of this year and I fail to recollect what it was that pushed me to push send on that outgoing email. Perhaps the little I learned about the L’Arche communities in the Northwest wherein some volunteered had contributed to further consideration.
Anyhow, the cogs continued revolving, eventually provoking a visit to St. Louis that resulted in a discontinuation of my discernment. The decision was made to walk a plank. And jump forward. Would I hold on to the plank upon jumping and crawl back up? Would I sink? What shores might I wash upon? I intend to explore these questions with you in this log of experiments as a student in L’Arche.
Peace House, one of the five house communities of L’Arche Harbor House, is where I currently share life. I am here to receive 2 months of training in preparation for serving as a founding assistant in St. Louis beginning next year.
Soon after arrival, I met “Manuel,” a man who seemed quiet and in his own world. He would be the one to initiate me. After my first dinner at the house, assistant Danielle noticed Manuel was in a good mood (I had no idea how to perceive this), came up behind him, and dug her hands up deep into the pits of his arms. Manuel swung his arms up in delight, laughing ecstatically. She continued tickling his underarms for what seemed like forever, Manuel’s eyes squinted and mouth open revealing missing his front teeth. This relationship that Danielle seemed to have with a core member was one I envied and wished to behold myself.
A few days later, in the morning, I was in the office by my bedroom with a Rhona and Thomas who had just helped Manuel with his medication. I stood behind him, and he then turned, put a one fingered claw on my chest and softly chimed “tickle tickle.” This was my moment! I jammed my fingers into his armpits and aimed to make him bust out some belly laughs. Rhona asked Manuel, “What are you doing just standing there, Manuel? Run!” So he scooted forward into my bedroom and belly flopped onto my bed. I continued the amusement as his giggles drowned from high pitched to low. My arm muscles grew tired quickly (quite a workout actually), and stood there as Manuel heaved deep breaths, prostrate on the bed. I was overjoyed to experience a growth in my relationship with him. Maybe he just wanted a tickle from anyone, but I claim it as my initiation.
One bit of truth I have received regards the diversity amongst those with intellectual disabilities, as well as the special skills people have as well. For example, although one core member lacks coordination skills, she has the uncanny ability to remember dates of events and other bits of information. An ability that everyone seems to have, especially the core members, is to create laughter. I have laughed more recently than I have in ages.
I’ve been in Harbor house for only 9 days and I know there are challenges I have not truly experienced as so many assistants have, but my attitude is open to the deeper frustrations and pleasures to come in both this city and St. Louis.
Some lessons from homework…
- I have had the opportunity to walk on the beach at night with fellow assistant Sarah and discuss our faith journeys. Totally awesome.
- I went to a Monday Night Football game between Jacksonville Jaguars and the Tennessee Titans. The jags got walloped, but it was a great time with new friends.
- On my first night, I attended a dance at a church where I, danced with a handful of people with disabilities. I felt less concerned about how I was perceived being in such a loving accepting community. So comfortable, in fact, that Thomas and I initiated the karaoke performance of “I’ll Make Love to You” by Boys II Men. The ladies went wild.
- The Jacksonville Zoo was more impressive than I thought it would be. Although I have ethical concerns about zoos, it was a fun time for us all, especially as a silverback gorilla approached “Margie” from the other side of the glass barrier and stared at the corn chips she was snacking on in her lap.
- I have started to learn how to sit with a group of people without feeling a need to talk.
“To love someone is not first of all to do things for them, but to reveal to them their beauty and value, to say to them through our attitude: ‘You are beautiful. You are important. I trust you. I trust you. You can trust yourself.’ We all know well that we can do things for others and in the process crush them, making them feel that they are incapable of doing things by themselves. To love someone is to reveal to them their capacities for life, the light that is shining in them.”
* "The aim of l'Arche is to create communities, which welcome people with a mental handicap. By this means, l'Arche seeks to respond to the distress of those who are too often rejected, and to give them a valid place in society…It seeks to offer not a solution but a sign, a sign that a society, to be truly human, must be founded on welcome and respect for the weak and the downtrodden."
-L'Arche Charter
